"The Paperlessly Wallpapered I.O'U. Papers" (No. 50-PDE)

Saturday, 07 December 2013, 14:56 PM

Tongue Twister for Stick Lovers, Financial Planners and Lovers of Old Imprisoning Devices
By Ivan O’Uris


A sticky, stocky stick stuck some stocks
With some sticky stock.
Unhappy with getting stuck,
The stocks stuck
The stick in the stocks.
Although the stick was stocky,
The stocks in which the stock was stuck were stockier,
Making life for the sticky, stocky stick sticky.

Background Notes: Originally believed to have been inspired by a joke about stock brokers from an episode of the TV show “Happy Days,” “Tongue Twister for Stick Lovers, Financial Planners and Lovers of Old Imprisoning Devices” was actually inspired by a dream, in which Ivan was a giant walking stick convicted of insider trading and punished by being covered in peanut butter and honey and placed in stocks. Some Ivan O’Uris scholars believe the dream was inspired by reading Franz Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis.” Others believe it was inspired by Woody Allen’s jokes about Kafka. Still others believe it was inspired by reading tuna can labels. According to Mr. Anonymous Jr. II, who submitted the poem to JFSG Publications for publication on Ivan’s behalf, it’s a messy matter for Ivan O’Uris scholars – almost sticky, in fact.

©circa 2006-not a circa, more of a semi-circa (drumroll, cymbal crash – from a symbol-shaped cymbal – groan) 2013, JFSG Publications. All rights reserved.

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